A Waldorf in Brooklyn
by Dulcedecorumest
Summary: Set in the summer after Season 5, Blair decides to take matters into her own hands, see if this thing between her and Dan is real. One-shot


**Title**: A Waldorf in Brooklyn

**Author**: Dulcedecorumest aka Dulcedeusex

**Fandom**: Gossip Girl

**Characters**: Dan/Blair

**Prompt**: For lookafteryou13 on livejournal, the request was future fic, No Chuck, angst optional

**Word count**: 2,747

**Beta:** ivorykeys you are such a doll.

**A/N**: This is my second Gossip Girl fic _**ever**_ and am wicked nervous because these two are my OTP and am so much in awe of the people who really _can_ write these two incredibly well. I wrote this a month ago for the Dairficexchange on livejournal but it hasn't been posted it yet at the comm so I decided to just go ahead and self-post.

~ xx ~

**Brooklyn - June 2012**

Blair stood outside the loft and took a deep breath.

_I must be crazy to **actually** be considering doing this! _

She thought about turning back—running down the stairs, out the building and flagging the first car she saw. Going back to Manhattan and the Upper East Side no braver than she had convinced herself she could be.

She heard a slightly high-pitched giggle coming from inside the loft and with a fleeting scowl her resolve strengthened again.

Straightening her green silk print dress, she whimsically clicked her red Christian Louboutins three times and pushed the door open with customary authority.

Seated on a bar stool, Dan looked at Blair with surprise, automatically rising to his feet and her name already tumbling from his lips.

With a tight smile, she gave him a dismissive wave and focused her attention on the blonde sitting next to him.

"I'm Blair Waldorf and _you_ are—"

Dan moved to stand between the two women, cutting Blair off before she could say something scathing and inappropriate.

"Marie Jones! S_he's_ Marie Jones." Dan winced at the pleading tone in his voice as he faced Blair.

The blonde started to speak, "Dan, if this is a bad time I can come back later."

He glanced at Marie apologetically then looked back at Blair.

"That won't be necessary. It looks like Dan was about to underwhelm you with his hereditary limited culinary skills. Waffles, right?"

Both Dan and Marie nodded wordlessly.

Blair smiled brightly. "Great, I love waffles! Now come on Marie, why don't you and I get better acquainted on the sofa while Dan prepares breakfast food at one pm."

Taking Marie's arm she led the girl to the living room, leaving Dan standing by Marie's abandoned seat and wondering what had just happened.

"Guess that means she's staying," he muttered under his breath.

He didn't hear what Blair said, but whatever it was sent Marie into peals of high-pitched laughter. Dan winced; leave it to Blair to uncover an irritating flaw in his prospective girl within minutes of meeting her.

Heading to the refrigerator, Dan reached for the crisp salad greens and chicken breasts he'd bought that morning. Now that the former Princess of Monaco was in the house, he had better step up his game!

~ xx ~

Blair critically observed Marie as she talked about her degree in Child Education.

There was a distinct Mid-Western tone underneath the thin city-girl's veneer. Blair swore she could see some hay sticking out of the woman's curly blonde hair.

She rapidly texted Dorota the details; Marie's age, last name, birthday…

"I'm sorry to interrupt your_ fascinating_ tale on the trials and tribulations of potty training—"

"Toddler pottery"

"That's what I said. Now, where was I? Oh yes, judging from your fresh skin-tone, wide child-bearing hips and golden hay—I mean _hair_—you've got a Mid-Western vibe. Where are you from exactly?"

Marie smiled graciously, "Actually, I'm from Tulsa it's in—"

"Oklahoma, I know. We all saw that _Friends _episode."

Marie's smile faltered slightly.

Blair texted Dorota the salient detail, then bestowed a saccharine sweet smile on Marie.

"So how long have you been in New York?"

"This is my fourth year, and you know the city is really starting to feel like home."

"I'm sure it is," Blair added encouragingly as she tuned out the rest of what Marie was saying and turned her attention to Dan, who was chopping up some chicken.

_Well, well, Brooklyn Boy's upping his game. Now if only Dorota would hurry up so I can get rid of this Hillbilly._

**** ~~xx~~

**Thirty Minutes Later**

Marie was in stitches after Blair told her about some of the pranks her and Serena pulled as kids. As she sat there laughing, Blair excused herself and joined Dan in the kitchen.

He was whisking waffle batter.

She raised an eyebrow.

"It's for dessert."

"Well of course."

She leaned in close and picked up a sliced strawberry. Looking into his eyes she popped it in her mouth.

She smiled slowly as Dan's pupils widened perceptibly. _I got your attention now!_

"Do I need to remind you that you muscled your way into my lunch date, so you don't get to pass judgment."

He leaned in close, his voice somewhere between a whisper and a growl.

"Humphrey please, you and I both know I _always_ get to pass judgment."

She popped another piece of fruit in her mouth, enjoying the thickening air between them.

"And what's your deal anyway? The way you're working her over there I'd think _you're_ trying to date her."

"We both know if I wanted to date her I _would_ be dating her by now. You wouldn't stand a chance."

Dan's cheeks pinkened at the thought of Blair and Marie together.

He gave a reluctant huff in agreement with her assessment, and started to whisk the batter furiously.

He cleared his throat, "So what do you think of Marie?"

"Well, she's vapid, can't coordinate colors together to save her life, and has legs up to her scrawny ostrich neck. Congratulations Humphrey you've reverted back to form."

"Hey, Serena's neck isn't scrawny."

They both grinned at each other.

"Blair, I really like this girl. _Please_ be nice, okay?"

She fixed unreadable eyes on him and pursed her lips, ready to speak just as her phone beeped. Breaking their eye contact, she read Dorota's message.

Dan was still watching her, eyes soft and pleading.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a begrudging smile, "Of course I'll be nice Humphrey. I have impeccable breeding remember?"

"That's _one_ way to put it."

She smacked his arm sharply and he almost dropped the bowl. Cursing under his breath he watched her sashay back to the Marie on the sofa. He had no proof, but he would bet both his kidneys that she was doing it on purpose.

"So, where were we?" Blair asked brightly.

"You were telling me about your best friend Serena."

"Yes… did Dan ever tell you about his four year _obsession_ with her?"

The whisk clattered to the ground and Dan cursed volubly. Blair smiled.

"Food's almost ready! Marie do you wanna help me with the plates!" he called out.

Marie gave Blair an apologetic look before she bounded up to go and help Dan.

Flipping her phone open, Blair read Dorota's information again and smirked in thought.

_Juvie, assault, intention to distribute, and a State Trooper arrest? Thank you Dorota and good-bye Marie._

~ xx ~

Lunch took thirty minutes, with Blair asking not-so-subtle questions about Marie's likes and dislikes. So far, the only things Marie and Dan had in common were living in Brooklyn, attending NYU, their race, and both being in their twenties.

When Dan got up to make their waffles for dessert, she moved in for the kill.

Hands folded primly in her lap and legs crossed at the ankles, Blair gave Marie a frosty smile.

"I'm sorry Marie, but your time's up. It's time for you to go. Away. _Now_."

"I don't understand."

Blair scooched closer to Marie.

"Drop the dumb blonde act and listen to the words coming out of my mouth _hussy_. You've served your purpose, but it's time for you to go. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"I'm here on a _date_ with Dan, _you're_ the one who's overstayed her welcome. _You_ leave."

"Let me break it down for you Tulsa: Dan is in love with me and for some _inexplicable_ reason, I think I feel the same way. I was going to tell him that but you've been here in my way… _all day_. I'm tired of playing with you and Dan's tired of acting like he's into you, so just...do us all a favor and go away."

The dismissive wave of Blair's hand made Marie draw back, her face flooding with color.

"I don't think Dan's in love with you _at all_. I think you're crazy, and _you_ should leave."

Blair smiled tightly, "No, _you_ are leaving, especially if you don't want me to post your mug-shot from the Iowa State Police on Gossip Girl. I don't buy it for one second that you've never heard of her or Dan or Serena or me."

"How do you know about my arrest?"

"Which one? There's also the stint in juvenile detention and the intention to distribute charge… one push of a button on my phone and your hopes of becoming a _child_ educator are out the window. So which is it going to be?"

Marie paled as she picked up her purse and slid the strap on her shoulder, "You've got a _sick_ way of showing love. Consider me gone."

"I already have."

Marie stood up and with a regretful glance at Dan's back, she left quietly.

Waffles topped with strawberry slices and vanilla ice cream in hand, Dan turned towards the living room with a wide grin on his face.

"Who's ready for dess—Where'd Marie go?"

Blair shrugged innocently as she rose to her feet, meeting Dan halfway and taking two plates from him. She turned and placed them on the coffee table. He sat down with the remaining plate and fixed her with a suspicious glare.

"Blair..._wha_t did you do?"

"I did you a favor."

She picked up one plate and started delicately cutting into a waffle with the side of her fork. Swirling the fried batter in some syrup, she stabbed some strawberry slices and ice cream before taking a huge bite. She chewed thoughtfully, swallowing carefully.

"You're welcome."

"Blair, _what is the matter with you_? How can you think it's okay to just waltz in here, gate-crash my date, and then drive her away? She's the first girl I've liked since you—uh, _forever,_ and you go and _ruin_ the one chance I've got of having a not-so-lonely summer because...what? You were _bored_! That is not how a friend behaves. That is not the way _you_ behave; well not since Constance anyway."

While he was venting, Blair polished off her waffle and had started in on Marie's. Dan leaned over and snatched the plate from her.

"Are you even _listening_ to me!"

"OMG Humphrey, don't you ever just _shut up_?"

"Did you just OMG me?"

Blair rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated sigh.

"You know for a smart guy you're pretty stupid most of the time."

"If this is an apology it's not going too well."

Blair swiftly rose to her feet, "Since you've decided to override your giant intellect and just be _really_ dense, I'm just going to have to spell it out for you."

She strode to the front door and wrenched it open. Disappearing into the hallway, the door slammed shut behind her.

Dan glared at the ceiling and prayed for strength.

_Blair Waldorf is a pain in the ass!_

The door opened again and Blair came in dragging luggage.

"Don't just sit there gaping you oaf. _Help me__!_"

Recovering from his shock, Dan jumped to his feet and did as he was told. Going out into the hallway he saw Blair had brought all her Louis Vuitton custom luggage, including a steamer trunk that took the both of them to haul over the threshold.

Blair brushed a strand of hair from her face, trying to look disproving with flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes.

"At the risk of incurring more of your wrath, what the fuck is up with the luggage? And shouldn't you be on your way to Europe right now?"

Blair gave him a wry shrug.

"I'm not going to Europe this summer."

Dan's brow wrinkled in confusion. "I thought you said you could never spend summer in the city."

"Well, I'm not. I'm spending it here, in _Brooklyn_, with you. Which..._technically_ is out of Manhattan."

"I'm sorry, I seem to be having trouble with my hearing. Did you say you're spending your summer _here_ with m-m-me?"

She rolled her eyes impatiently, "Yes."

"I don't mean to be rude but…_Why_?"

_Okay his confusion has ceased to be endearing._

"I think it's about time we found out if you're really in love with me, and vice versa, don't you?"

"Oh My God, I'm dreaming."

"No. I assure you if you _were_, I wouldn't be dressed so well."

"Then this is a joke."

Blair let out a frustrated sigh, "Mostly on me."

Dan bristled and Blair beamed at him. She reached for her side and started to unzip her dress, eyes fixed on him.

"What are you doing?"

"Undressing."

Dan watched with yearning eyes as she pulled the hem of the dress up and over her head.

"Blair. Please stop… Y-y-you should go do that in my room, with the door closed and me… _not _in therewith you," he finished lamely.

When the silk print dropped to the floor, Blair shook her mussed hair. Dan took a step back, increasing the distance between them, until the sofa halted his progress. She smiled at him indulgently, casually observing him in her black silk lingerie.

"_Dan_, we have to find out if this is real or not. For the record, I did think about seducing you, but based on your inability to articulate your own feelings over the last year and a half… I've concluded you'd kind of suck at it and my patience is _already_ thin. So we're just going to get right to it, because something tells me the first couple times are going to be _very _awkward and probably unsatisfactory—"

"You called me Dan. And. Ouch."

"I call 'em I see 'em kid." With a Gallic shrug, she stalked over to him and shoved him backwards onto the sofa.

In her red heels and black lingerie, dark tresses tousled around her shoulders, she looked like his personal Barbarella fantasy incarnate.

She leaned over, unbuckled his jeans and dragged them down his legs.

Dan hoped he would remember every detail so he could write it down later, because, _right now,_ this all felt too unreal.

Shell-shocked but cooperative, he helped Blair work his boxers down, sneaking cautious glances at her face to see if at any point she was going to come to her senses, wrinkle her nose, and leave him there in disgust.

"Blair, why do you think you're in love with me?"

His words were slightly muffled as she pulled his plaid shirt over his head.

"_Could_ be."

"Sorry, why do you think you _could _be in love with me?"

She let out an exasperated huff, "Isn't it obvious Humphrey?"

"I'd have to say...no?"

"These last two years have taken an incredible toll on me and I've finally lost my ever-loving mind."

Of course she would choose that moment to straddle his waist, red heels still on, and kiss him hotly.

Dan awkwardly balanced on one elbow and reached up to draw Blair closer; their teeth clashed. Trying again to angle his head so that their tongues could meet in imitation of the age-old dance, he earned himself a mouthful of her hair. She made a sound in her throat and pushed him down. He fell back, slightly deflated by his unsuccessful attempts to kiss her.

Blair was not to be deterred, as she lay on top of him and coaxed his mouth open with hers. Taking a deep breath, he let her deepen the kiss and followed her lead.

Before he knew it their awkward first kisses were forgotten as the flames of lust were stoked to life by Blair's tongue and her silky Chanel-No.5 scented skin.

She smiled victoriously against his lips as she felt his erection against her belly.

Pulling back, she held one finger up as he made a protesting sound.

"Hang on Humphrey."

Sensuously sliding off his body, she disappeared from his line of vision and returned before his erection could decide to take a nap.

"You've got to be kidding me."

She was holding a carton of condoms.

Blair shook the box at him with a frown, "What? After my experiences this last year, I will not take that chance. And neither should you after the whole Georgina Russian Mobster's baby incident."

For some reason, that took the crushing weight of expectation off in a way nothing else had since Blair had declared her intentions. Dan heard himself laughing loudly and freely.

Blair beamed at his reaction as she set the carton on the table next to the melted mess of half-eaten waffle. Opening the box, she took one out and used her teeth to rip the package open with practised grace.

Dan let out an impressed chuckle.

"Now. For round one."

~~xx~~

A/N: Press that button and review please! I'm not entirely comfortable writing these two but based on promos, spoilers and spec I'd have to say I'm psychic!


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